Yes, I think overachieving (in the sense of doing more than one wishes to or more than the others around one) can certainly be as bad for someone as underachieving. Carrying others is not a good feeling.
I was a driven little kid, and I think it was unhealthy for me. I don't want that for my children or for myself anymore. Choosing our priorities has become very important to me, and not everything has to be done perfectly by any of us.
As an adult, I am definitely trying to take a backseat more often in organizations. I usually only step in when two factors align: 1) the event is something that the kids and I are really excited about, and 2) it won't happen at all if I don't step in. If the program will be run differently/worse than it would be if I ran it, but it will happen, I just keep my nose out of it. If it is run so badly that it offends me, then either we quit or I volunteer to run it the next year. I think this has happened twice--once we quit and once I stepped in. Mostly though, I just work to bite my tongue and accept that things won't be done my way. <shrug> I'm learning to get over it.
I think a little slack is a good thing, especially when you're homeschooling. You already have a lot on your plate!
