Inky-
In my case it helped to drop ADHD into the conversation a lot without putting any other clarifications. "I believe we should get together to discuss his ADHD like behavior. I understand that having a child with ADHD can be difficult in your class." Notice I didn't say MY child had ADHD :-) I've had good luck getting meetings with things like "help make sure that you have the support you need to do your job- teaching in this day and age is very complex!" Now... let's be fair- I've had a lot of meetings with very little results. But at least I got some meetings!
In public school you can also throw around things like "free and appropriate education" because although the FAPE standard doesn't apply to gifted education in general, those setting the calendar usually don't know that! I also scored a meeting with the head of our public district by saying "I know that your test scores are very important to you and I believe our goals are the same in that aspect." Bing- the magic word of raising your test scores!
