I was lucky to see my fabulous cousin interact with her 4 kids when DS was an infant. DH and I marveled at how well behaved the kids were, and how my cousin would not just say "no" - she'd give an explanation. We tried to do that to, and it worked wonderfully. We noticed that if we were rushed and did not explain, big fits would follow.
And because of early communication, we didn't have the terrible twos at all, but 3 and 4 had some fantastic tantrums when he didn't get what he wanted! They are getting fewer and further between, but we still get some doozies, and they're almost always in public.
