Whatever works, use it! Some toddlers don't understand too much of an explanation. My dd2.3 does seem to appreciate an explanation at times but at other times she is beyond an explanation and can't stop crying to hear what I am saying. I have to be careful that I don't give her too much attention when she has a meltdown. It seems to feed into it and teaches her that if she throws a tantrum, she'll get my attention. I've started to just tell her that I can't understand her when she cries and whines and she'll need to use words (I say that even if I know exactly what she wants). She can communicate very well - I wouldn't take that approach if she wasn't able to communicate so well.
