My first marriage was at age 19 and my daughter from that marriage is 18 years older than my son from my second marriage. Even with the age difference, and living in different states, they are closer than I would have ever believed possible. My daughter talks more to him than she does me. She calls him several times a day and the time they spend talking adds up to more than an hour a day. He listens patiently while she talks and they give each other advice. She says talking to him is like talking to one of her friends and that he is more like an adult than a kid. She says he understands things that her boyfriend just doesn't get.
They recently talked about how they seem to have gotten two very different mothers. My daughter got the young, happier, more confident, slightly more optimistic mom. My poor son got the older, sad, cynical, pessimistic and anxiety-ridden mom who occasionally snaps because of the need for constant interaction when I am in the middle of a stress storm.
I am so glad that they have each other, but sometimes I think I should have had another child closer to my son's age. I was afraid to try again, partly because of his difficult birth and the colic and not enough sleep. I think things might have been easier for him if he had a sibling at home with him. Now that his friends have gone back to school, I think he must be lonely sometimes. For a while we talked about becoming foster parents and possibly adopting. He liked this idea because he said he could help teach a younger child, but we can't right now because of other family responsibilities.
