Saw this and thought it was pretty funny:
NEW "BAILOUT" & STOCK MARKET BUSINESS
TERMS....
CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an
investor to
mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids
get no
allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband
gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling
lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their
pants as the
market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split
your assets
equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been
disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it
disappears down the
toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor
sucker for $240
per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the
sucker who bought
Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Previous investor who's
now locked up in a
nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
