Hi Ania,

I sometimes feel overwhelmed by trying to find what's best for my boys. Challenging them without overstepping--and now, as they get older, respecting their choices and personality "quirks". For instance, my oldest son (I'll call him Wisper) went to RMTS last summer at my urging. I told him I had read how valuable these experiences were for highly/profoundly gifted students to be amongst their peers. I asked him to do it for me this once and I wouldn't ask him again. He loved it. This year he wanted to go back but preferred course choices available at Duke. He was nervous about going so far (NC) and to a new place, as well as unhappy about being away from his buddies for so long, but ultimately decided to go. I think these elements add to the "challenge" and are just as important experiences as the academics and peer group. Flying unaccompanied, skipping a grade, any out-of-the-box situation requiring courage and resourcefulness are also "challenges". This year, Wisper tried out for middle school basketball team (even though he's one or two years younger, less-developed, shorter) and didn't make it--that was another "challenge". He made the soccer team and that is really a fantastic experience for him. I guess my point is that I feel challenges can be introduced on many levels, not just academic. In registering for high school, I told him that I would advocate for him to get into the AP courses his Freshman year (typically reserved for jr & sr). He elected not to do that to get established and be among his friends, as well as have some free time for golf, MESA club, etc. I'm fine with that for next year, but need to keep re-evaluating with him.

He's taking EPGY honors algebra this year and is almost through. He did not access the tutors or video classroom, relying entirely on lectures and homework/exams. The tutors always email their availability to help, but he is self-teaching (I think he's making it harder than it needs to be). EPGY is a bit complicated with lectures, quizzes, homework, pre-tests, exams, midterm, final, video classroom. It took us about a month just to understand how to do it...and it is expensive. Taking the course has basically doubled Wisper's math because he's not doing it through school and still is responsible for schoolwork. But he recognized that he hadn't been advancing in school much and requested that he take the course. My second and third sons love ALEKS (through school) and I'm hoping they'll continue to work on it through the summer.

Yes, I think RMTS has lowered their scores some, but they also require 3 recommendations...it's too many hoops. Duke's TIP has 2 summer programs, and one has higher score requirements (Center vs. Academy). THINK still has the highest (I think :)), but limited selection of courses. I'm also happy that Wisper will be part of another college community--it'll help him understand what's important to him when he's deciding on colleges.

For each of my kids' summer plans I've tried to get them to try something different, something they were a little nervous about, as their challenge.

Don't worry about venting--I can completely relate, and I think that's why I like this bulletin board. Don't feel hopeless...agonizing over these things is our job and once we feel at peace with our decisions, we'll know it's right.

Cym