I've been a software engineer at the same company for over 25 years. I'm highly to profoundly gifted, HSP, and 2e.
I like it there and have been working from home for a while. But now they're forcing everyone to come back to the office. Originally they tried to gently convince people, but the employees didn't want to. Now they're bringing out the big guns. Unless you have a work-related excuse, you have to go back. Ironically, my coworker has a work related excuse in that he talks to people at 11 pm our time. But I apparently "do not".
They're basically fed up with ALL excuses at this point, thinking they're nonsense. But this one isn't. I got an earlier waiver which should have settled it but now they're batting that down.
I spoke to HR today and they gave me a waiver to work from home full time...but not due to the fact that neurodivergent and gifted people have different needs and mindsets from the majority and one size does not fit all.
They said it fell under the ADA. And that neurodiversity is a disability. I can get an exemption through an ADA case. They sent me all the ADA forms. In effect, I HAVE to disclose if I want to continue working from home.
Basically it's a case by case basis. And if you have abilities which do not express which would help the company you can't use them. The only time when it can be used is when having them HARMS your performance so you can be brought up to average.
I argued that I can try to grow and help the company because I transcend the conventional work silos and can't be confined to just one. That is a skill unique to me. My manager said that's nice but that does not help your career. When I expect you to grow, you're supposed to grow in your own silo.
People have also been complained that I can't train people because I think differently from them. "What good is your knowledge and experience if you can't relay it to junior engineers to bring them up to speed?" It's fairly obvious that the skip thinking and metacognition is the barrier there and there's nothing I can do about that. But the important thing is I get the job done even though often I don't know how I do it (and sometimes my manager doesn't either).
I tried to explain that there may be other cases like this where seemingly functional people can be made great by letting them choose their environment. Her response was telling. She got it, as she had a neurodivergent kid. However, "thank you for your opinion".
Basically "I agree with you, but there's nothing I can do about the policy. I truly and sincerely apologize..."
I think she knows they're making a mistake but there's nothing she can do to fight upper management.
What do I do? It's a tough situation: upper management is making a mistake but doesn't realize it, and my manager and his engineering manager both do. But they have to follow orders.
Once you've experienced the luxury of working from home you can't go back. I can control my sensory environment and stuff.
If I give in, I return to work and will probably be exhausted pretty easily. Not to mention it will wreck my cleaning lady and therapist schedules. And I'll have to eat out all the time again. I can DO it, as I've done it before, but it will not help the company at all since we're all over the country and will just hurt me. So my performance won't improve at all if I work from there: you'd just get "you have to come to check a box even though the company doesn't benefit at all".
If I don't, I run the risk of being forced out due to ADA and stigmas against people with disabilities. And that will also hurt the company.
With the options we now have it's a lose-lose situation unless we can convince upper management to get their heads out of their asses and realize neurodivergence is not a disability.
Right now it's a case by case basis here. Problem is that this is a class action scenario that has to be extended to cover neurodivergent people so I can't stop at myself.
Last edited by acgoldis; 02/07/26 09:17 AM.