And yet. There is a fundamental contradiction between that nihilist view, and what you say next:
I believe that being alive is better than being dead.
No contradiction here Platypus - things don't have to be meaningful to be enjoyable!
I'd rather be here, doing all the fun stuff you can do while you're alive, even with the knowledge that it will come to nothing, mean nothing and be remembered by no one within a generation or two, than be gone already. All the fun stuff is really cool! It doesn't make the meaninglessness and brevity less terrifying, but it makes me happy at the same time. Which sounds odd, but imagine if your parent passed away within days of your child being declared in remission, and the different feelings that would generate - all those different, deep, contradictory emotions, all at the same time. So yeah, I'm terrified, I'm sorrowful, I'm happy, I love life. It's a crazy mix! But I don't want to freak my daughter out by throwing her in the deep end of all those big feelings just yet. I think it would just be too much for her. Lying works for me, for now
