Polarbear has really covered everything I would say, but I still want to send hugs and empathy and strength. My Mom claims I came out of the womb with a book in hand. Yet I found myself with two non/ reluctant readers. I get the heartbreak and the fear and the confusion and the bafflement. Here's a bit of what I've learned getting through this.
We aren't struggling with him being able, it seems to be more a struggle of willingness.
I don't think I have learned anything more critical than "a child
will do well if they
can". No child is born wanting to fail, or wanting to let down their parent, or teacher. If they
won't, it is usually because they
can't. Something, somewhere in that task, is an element they just can't do, at least not without pain. The problem may be hidden by lots of pieces they
can do, but somewhere in there, there is also a "can't". And while we can sometimes muster up the resources to work through pain, we usually avoid it if we can.
For two years, I had knock-down, drag-em out battles, for literally hours every night, with my DD over her daily reader from school. In so many ways, it was obvious she could read the book - after all, eventually, she always did. And yet, every night, battle to the death. What kind of kid brings home a library book without reading the title, and yet demonstrates she can read the whole book when forced to? Answer: a kid for whom reading hurts enough to fight to the death to avoid it if she can - but yet has the compensation skills to fake it, using tremendous effort which causes considerable pain, if we really make her do it. The most important thing I have been able to do for my kids is to
believe that they are trying as hard as they can, and if they won't do it, it's my job to figure out what's in the way, so we can make it not hurt anymore.
If he simply never reads, we'll be in a world of hurt shortly.
It sounds like you are already in a world of hurt, but trust that there are so many ways in which it will get better. As polarbear says, there are many ways to read other than using your eyes, and they add great richness to our lives. Books are books, however you take them in.
And if you provide proper remediation, kids with dyslexia will learn to read far better. Maybe they'll still always be slower at it and have to work harder than others, maybe not. But for one for instance, that same DD of mine, now 10, now writes poetry - for the sheer joy of it - in which she describes how much she loves to read and write. She'll always be dyslexic, but the pain is gone. Every night, she curls up for an hour or two with her books. When she gets tired, she switches to audio, which yes, still makes me fret. And then I look at the giant stacks of books all over her bed, and remind myself that all books are good, and she reads with her ears as well as with her eyes. And when her new teacher asks, "What are your favourite things?", her first answer is "reading". So get the right diagnosis, start remediation, and hang in there, and know we're here for you.
