haven't talked through all the details for each path (the latter having more than one option)... the way forward is tangled up with what each of his parents feel is the best for him (not always exactly the same)... How to reconcile?
Have you considered drawing
decision trees? Each person would draw one or more versions. They can be great for discussion... keeping the discussion focused and on track... allowing each person's thoughts to be shared. The likelihood of each branch in the tree could be discussed and possibly labeled. Sketching decision trees could facilitate analysis of which paths would lead to the desired goals... it may be revealed that people have different goals. There are no right-or-wrong answers in this... doodling decision trees is just a tool... one more way to ensure everyone is heard, understood, has thought things through to the best of their ability with the information available to them at the present point in time. The family could then identify the "missing" information and conduct research, essentially forging new paths if needed. The key, I believe, is to keep communicating and maintain respect despite difference in viewpoint and/or knowledge base.
