Originally Posted by Michaela
We have been fighting for accommodations for 4 years.
By what means have you been fighting? For example, does this incorporate information from wrightslaw such as
- ASD info page
- From Emotions to Advocacy (book)
- From Emotions to Advocacy (website)
Does this also include common advocacy procedures, such as
- Advocacy meeting prep - 101

Originally Posted by Michaela
refuse ... Because he is "bad at writing."
...
He won't ... because "I'm not good at this."
- Have you told your son that the way to get good at something is to try it, self-assess, ask for feedback, try again... etc... that learning and practicing are reiterative processes? (On the other hand, does your son have a dysgraphia diagnosis, in addition to being on the ASD spectrum?)

- Are you familiar with the article on What Kids Don't Learn if they do not face appropriate academic/intellectual challenge?

- Have you read the book Mindset by Carol Dweck? One aspect or application is that gifted kids may stop taking appropriate risks in order to always be "right" or always be seen as "smart" or never be "wrong", and this may work against them as a fixed mindset and lack of resilience.
The concept of fixed mindset vs growth mindset is nicely summarized in this brief roundup of youtube videos:
1- Ashley Merryman & Po Bronson: The Myth of Praise (link-
)
2- Teaching a Growth Mindset (link-
)

Originally Posted by Michaela
at school, the meltdowns are legally difficult to handle, because they *aren't allowed* to leave him alone to use the strategies that work for him -- so they sometimes escalate.
Has this been discussed in advocacy meetings, with brainstorming and collaboration on alternative strategies?

Originally Posted by Michaela
Right now they are suggesting putting him in a full time ASD programme and telling us "it's the best chance of providing him with academic enrichment." I have some reservations about whether this is true or not.
You posted that his peers in the ASD program would be generally younger, and of average intelligence.
- How would this ASD program be addressing behavior?
- Have you discussed setting specific, measurable goals?
- Have you discussed the specific details of what your son would be experiencing while working toward those goals? For example, is the ASD program a means of fulfilling your desire to allow him to watch youtube videos at his discretion?
- How much time would you be giving this arrangement, as a trial, before assessing its effectiveness?