I also get a huge resistance for using the extra time he gets. My son could really use the extra time in Physics this year. Teacher would be more than willing to give it to him, but my son would have to ask for it. (Either before the class or even right after..) But my son has this pride and still won't do it.
Our ds has also been reluctant to ask for extra time on assignments, and I understand the frustration. Pride was part of what plays into that resistance for our ds, but there were other factors too. Our ds has an expressive language challenge, and that made it difficult for him to formulate and communicate the ask. While there are many strategies to help students learn how to ask and practice asking, our experience with accommodations in high school has been that few teachers want the parents involved in any way long before students reach the age of 18, and that was a bit of a wall to get past in helping our ds learn how to advocate for himself initially.
The other factor is something that I think is a bit difficult to understand when you aren't dealing with it personally... but when a student gets into high school and is taking high level courses, the demands on that student's time can be huge. Some classes come with large amounts of homework... by the time you're a junior you're also looking at taking SAT/ACT, possibly in AP classes etc, all at the same time you're also in high school wanting to have a bit of a social life. Quite often kids with accommodations, even when they have those accommodations in place, are spending 2-3 times as much outside-of-school time on routine homework as nt kids. Add to that the "how" of arranging extended time on tests - these have to be done at school, most often during lunch, sometimes after school. Our ds didn't want to miss lunch to take a test if he didn't have to - he needs to eat, and he needs his lunch period to just be with friends and have a mental break between classes. After school can be difficult if you're on a sports team or have other extracurricular activities that you'd have to miss. My completely nt dd who's now in high school has one teacher who lets any kid who needs it have extended time on tests - during lunch hour. My dd takes the extended time because she's hyper-driven and can't bear the thought of not getting the best grade possible. And she *hates* it because she misses lunch. She can eat during the test, but it's not having that break in the middle of the day that wipes her out. So while I was early on encouraging my ds to use all of his accommodations all of the time, I now am much more understanding of his decisions to sometimes *not* use them. Even with homework, when he uses his accommodations he can end up in a situation where his total amount of homework grows too much, and he needs to just do what he can and get assignments turned in and move on. Hope that makes sense.
Best wishes,
polarbear
