An update: Met with our new superintendent. He basically told us. "Screw GATE. It's a field trip. What's most important is clustering with a teacher who is trained in depth and complexity." Since not a single student at my DD's school was admitted to GATE (suspicious in and of itself and definitely indicates that they've narrowed the testing too much), I don't see much point in advocating for her this year. What good would it do for her to be a group of one? What I have done is strongly advocate for her to be in the GATE-trained teacher's classroom, and will talk directly to him about providing the depth and rigor that he would to gifted students, whether or not they are GATE-identified. On another site in which I was discussing this same issue, several parents supported this approach, warning me to be careful what I advocated for b/c GATE often doesn't mean much. That certainly seems to be the case in my district.
I am sorry I have been off this site. I sent you a PM today. Unfortunately, the comments you heard about 'be careful what you advocate for because GATE often doesn't mean much' may be right. It really does depend on the district. I came from a district where it was supported at the top...and the difference is really night and day compared to my current district. But I do believe it needs support of principals and of the school board to be truly worthwhile.
I advocated for significant change for almost two years...and then I gave up. I am generally a very 'stick with it and fix it' type of person, but I had to let go and realize that unless the school board/superintendent was going to create an environment for change, it was never going to happen. I am glad that I kept looking and I did find a learning environment that I think is a terrific match, and I hope the same happens for you! Best of luck.
