Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of information. My son's teachers don't supervise recess so other teachers witnessed what happened and I am hearing about the incident third-hand. I have seen the kids play the game where my son ran into trouble because they play it all the time. The kids are tigers escaping from the zoo. A zookeeper runs around and hauls the escaped tigers back into their cages. Unfortunately, a key part of the game is "dragging" the tigers back to their cages. On one occasion last week my son was the zookeeper and he didn't listen when the "tiger" protested that she didn't want to be pulled any longer. She told him and he didn't listen so another "tiger" told a teacher, who intervened. My son apologized but the "tiger" was upset (and, I imagine, scared) and she has been avoiding him since then. That's all the information I have been able to get. The school didn't think it was a big deal and didn't contact us about it. I only heard about the incident because the parents of another boy who my son pushed on another occasion (playing a similar game) complained. When I called to discuss it with the teachers, they told me there had been a few incidents over the last couple of weeks. They don't think my son is aggressive and said he's just "working on this issue" recently. They are reminding him to keep his hands to himself, working on mindfulness techniques for dealing with frustration (though I'm not sure that is what is going on here), giving him fidgets to play with and keep his hands busy, encouraging him to listen to feedback from friends and ask a teacher for help when necessary.
I'm anxious about this because while my son has had his share of challenges, he has never been rough or aggressive or even physical with other kids. So I wonder if this is a new stage or if it is a symptom of some underlying distress/stress. I also wonder if it's a natural phase or if it is related to his social skills deficits. Specifically, he has poor eye contact, tends to speak very quietly so that is hard to hear him, he is very passive, he often doesn't seem to hear what we say to him (we have to repeat things several times), and he sometimes doesn't reciprocate appropriately (often doesn't reciprocate greetings). He is also a very introverted child and some of this may be a reflection of this. Or something more. I don't know. I am just reeling that, of all things, we are facing rough behavior and I'm trying to figure out an appropriate way to respond without making my son (or myself) too anxious.
We attended a workshop about safety, assertiveness, boundary setting, bullying, etc. over the weekend. We have been reading books about friendship and social skills. We have also been role playing. My husband wrestles with my son and is working to assert boundaries and teach him about the appropriate level of force (but they have always incorporated this so this isn't new). Maybe I'm just blowing this up because my son has had so many social challenges over the last couple of years. I'm very sad because he finally seemed to be doing well socially and I'm afraid that his relationships are going to deteriorate again. His teachers told us they have no concerns about his social skills, as he has friends (all girls) and is great in the classroom. He is just really struggling with recess right now.
