DD11 and I had a couple of long conversations this weekend. One was about her dreams when she grows up, which was so wonderful. The other was about her concerns over friendship at school which was heart-breaking.

Nothing new, really, to parents with GT kids who stand out at school. She wishes she has more friends at school. 5th grade is the time when social cliques become obvious. She has a small group of friends (5 of them), and then there are the "fashion girls", there are the "Asian girls", and there are "girls who don't belong anywhere", and the "girls who don't care anyways"... You get the picture. She wants to have more friends, but feels that some girls don't even want to talk to her. She also says that it really bothers her that people hold her up to a very high standard, and whenever she makes a mistake the other kids laugh ("ooooh, the smart girl made a mistake", or "wooohooo!! I did better today than the smart girl!") She understands why they do that, but it hurts her feelings.

She feels very proud of her achievements. But she also wondered whether it would have been a good idea to "dumb down" herself a bit. She felt this kind of social pressure since 2nd grade, but now it's getting really annoying.

I was not surprised at all. But it broke my heart nonetheless. I knew some girls were not comfortable around her. I knew plenty of parents who were not comfortable around her! She has been very conscious about being low-key about whatever she does. But I think some things are just unavoidable. She has high hopes for DYS activities and the kids she might get to know through the program. It is not just that she wants to get along with kids at school; she also craves friends who are "like her". I plan to share stories with her (from books and from my own experience) as well to help her see that everyone faces challenges, and the social cliques will be her challenge. I worry about middle school -- DS had a terrible experience in middle school partly because of the social problems.

Oh well, thanks for reading. Just feel that I need to write it down. She knows full well that middle school will be tough; but there might be options for high school. We will see...

Last edited by playandlearn; 03/07/16 06:13 AM.