We do a 30-minute commute for my son's gifted school. He tried a rigorous STEM school, but it was a terrible fit and they wouldn't accelerate him the way he needed, so we had to withdraw him.
I think you have a realistic expectation of the problems with the gifted school. For us, it means, it's more challenging to volunteer and be active parent participants in the school, after school activities can be more challenging, and my son's friends live about an hour away, which is not fun. On the other hand, my son is extremely happy with his school and has a terrific friend group. We think the academics are, for the most part, appropriate (math could be more challenging, but he has a private tutor, so he gets challenge outside of school).
I think you might want to consider the nearby school first. It would be such a relief if you didn't have to spend up to 2 hours a day on a bus. I can't even imagine. If it doesn't fit, is it possible to then move him to the gifted school?
