Originally Posted by DeeDee
No matter why the behavior is happening, if it's socially undesirable, the person has to learn to not do that, or at least to choose very carefully when to do it because there are negative consequences for doing it.

This is fundamentally a *teaching* process (not punishment). It involves helping them see what is expected of them and to do that.
Agree, but the approach might be different for things a child knows how to do, but doesn't do and things they don't yet know or have the skills to do.

As a for instance: lying and/or hiding assignments. What if child knows better than to lie, but doesn't know how to ask for help or self-soothe when overwhelmed/anxious. (This is the kind of parenting quandary that drives me insane.) There should be consequences, but of what sort? I lean toward natural consequences (since you didn't tell the truth, I'm now going to monitor closely and communicate more frequently, etc.), but sometimes that seems pretty namby-pamby.