Eco, thanks for the kick in the pants. I just emailed the school calling an iep meeting.
Ha, I hope it didn't feel like a kick! I know it's easy to get stuck in the paralysis-via-analysis thing.
I hope school is responsive to your concerns! FWIW, my DS is really a lot better this year than last and my hunch it's because he's adjusted a little more to the hormonal issues--because I can't think what else has changed, much. He was kind of early-ish on the entering puberty side, for a boy. Anecdotally, I've heard from other parents that their boys were especially difficult in early adolescence, emotionally.
Hang in there! This stuff is exhausting.