Yeah, that's a pretty tidy way to misunderstand and dehumanize people, saying they have no empathy. Autistic bloggers have torn this theme (and Baron-Cohen's research that connects autism to sociopathy) to shreds.
I think this misunderstanding also tends to prevent early identification--at least in our case, it played a role. Even though the DSM doesn't use the word "empathy," it's an urban legend. So when a parent (me, for instance) has a concern, and that particular piece doesn't fit at all, it leads to a lot of doubt.
My DS has an abundance of feeling for those in pain. He was unable to watch movies or read stories with themes of loss, when he was younger, because he would fall apart, cry and perseverate about them for days. I think he actively avoids emotionally painful topics--but not because he doesn't care, it's more that he cares too much and lacks coping skills.
He does struggle to communicate and he has difficulty understanding social expectations, but empathy is clearly not a deficit.
(Sorry if this is a hijack.)
I feel strongly that acceptance is an important part of this diagnosis--both the strengths and the challenges. My DS has a really agile, beautiful mind (as I'm sure all of our DC do). I don't want him to see himself as defective.
