With a child this age, some families may discuss and agree on goals, then work together to try to find paths to attaining those goals.
For example, a goal might be gaining insight into respectful student behaviors for classroom success. Options might include:
- the social skills group,
- alternative curriculum for self-study at home and daily discussion with parent over dinner,
- direct instruction during individual counseling.
- If sufficient progress is not made (as determined by parent), then child foregoes choice of learning environments and parent chooses.
Unfortunately at this point, it seems that there may be a power struggle in the home. In such a situation, generally no one wins.
One approach may be to ask him to articulate his objections, concerns, and/or fears about the social skills group. To the degree that he can be positive and productive in problem-solving conversation with you, you may wish to grant him some amount of freedom in making choices, or partnering with you in making choices, or providing proactive input for your ultimate decision making (whether works for your family). To the degree that he is unable or unwilling to engage in positive and productive problem-solving conversation with you, he may be demonstrating that he is not ready to make or contribute to decisions; The default is that parent makes decision.
Yeah-I think he felt ambushed-but it's hard to know the perfect approach. I try to balance between giving him too much information and causing more anxiety and not enough. This appears to have been a miscalculation. I like your ideas about options, will consider.
