Hi Maren,
I didn't have time to read the other replies, so forgive me if I say something that's already been said twice or more
I can't tell you if your ds is gifted, but really, does it matter? Every child, no matter what their ultimate abilities are, appreciates and deserves to have a chance to learn at the level they are capable of learning. It sounds like that's what you're trying to do for your son, so I wouldn't get caught up in worrying about a label like "gifted". If you feel that the school needs to be doing more in terms of offering your ds more advanced work, then the school might want to test him to determine if he's gifted, but for working with him on your own, I don't think it matters. What *does* matter is - does he enjoy what you're doing at home, or are you pushing him? There are only so many hours in a day, and childhood goes by so quickly. We had to do differentiation and extra work at home for my 2e kids, and I have to be honest - I'd give anything to have those hours of their childhood back just to play! If a child is asking to sit down and learn new math concepts, that's ok, teach it to him, but if he's not, or if he's not happy with doing it, I wouldn't bother with it - even if he was profoundly gifted. Being gifted doesn't mean you automatically love math or reading or spending extra time studying outside of school.
Does every child have the potential if they applied themselves to test higher then their current grade level? Can I expect other children to catch up with him in 3rd grade with their math and reading abilities?
I don't think every child has the potential to test higher than their grade level, but based on what I've seen in my local school district, I think that there are a large chunk of children who could test ahead of grade level if they had one-on-one tutoring at the rate they were able to learn in the absence of classroom distractions and disruptions. I also think it's quite possible there are kids in his classroom who are not receiving outside help with reading who are reading several grade levels ahead - only because I saw that in my own children's classes. That doesn't mean your ds isn't a very smart child and it doesn't mean he isn't gifted - it's just my perception that in the first few years of school, achievement is very much correlated with exposure, and your ds is getting extra exposure at this point in time that his classmates aren't. The other thing that I saw happen with kids in my kids classes in K-2 grade was that learning to read didn't happen at the same time/rate for every child - the kids who went into school already reading were sometimes still ahead of grade level by 3rd grade, but not always. Other kids, like my ds, were not reading at all, but once he started reading it caught on like wildfire. His best friend still wasn't reading at the end of K, but he caught on al by himself over the summer and was reading ahead of grade level at the start of 1st grade, with no help from parents. A few grades later on, I think you'll see a split in achievement that more truly correlates to actual ability.
I would love to hear if anyone has an opinion on my son. My sister who has a girl the same age says that I expect too much out of my son but I think 1 hour of school work, outside of school/summer in place of his eyes glued to a computer/TV is not too much to ask for in a child. Am I wrong?
I think you care a lot about your child, and that's not wrong. I also don't think any approach to parenting is "wrong". I personally wouldn't bother with it - I do think an hour a day doing school work outside of school is a lot... but my opinion is probably skewed because a full day of school actually tired my 2e kids out a lot - not from intellectual stimulation but from the difficulty of dealing with disabilities. I'm also looking at this as the parent of teens who are close to grown, wishing I could have a huge chunk of that time when they were young back
Other than those 2 potential biases, my main reason for not doing that kind of direct studying related to school curriculum is two-fold: first, they will get it in school, so why duplicate? If the school pace isn't fast enough, then try to get the extra tutoring done in/through school first. Second reason - if your intent is to foster the love of learning and to develop your ds' intellectual gifts, I'd spend that hour a day learning about subjects he's interested in, going to museums or the library, watching NOVA or whatever, writing stories, making art, etc. Being gifted isn't really about being "ahead" of the game, it's about thinking and reasoning power. It's about all the cool ideas inside of our kids' heads. If we have a kid who's born to do math and craves it and begs to learn more, that's ok to teach more. But if you're just teaching math and reading to get him ahead, I'd drop that and focus the outside-of-school learning on topics that aren't going to be covered in school.
Please note - I'm not saying don't push for him to be taught at the level of learning he's capable of. I'd just not spend an hour teaching my child just to get him ahead if he was doing a-ok in his classroom and not bored to tears.
Best wishes,
polarbear
