My ds was in a "choice" program when he was diagnosed in early elementary. The choice programs in our district went through a phase where they said (publicly, documented, accessible by all) that the school district policy allowed those programs to *not* enroll children who qualified for them if the children required IEP services, with the alleged reason being that it was too difficult/expensive to deliver those services in any way other than through the neighborhood schools. I was fairly certain at the time (still am) that that policy is not exactly legal, and it disappeared within 2 years of being put in place. You should ask your advocate to explain to you what your child's rights are in the program he's in - it's not something that I suspect you'll need to do much research into, I suspect your advocate will know the answer to that question.
She doesn't, though, unfortunately. She asked me to research and explain and I can't find anything in writing. The only reason I have a feeling the choice program is different is bc the program counselor told me that if DS failed it wouldn't mean anything re: eval since it's a choice program. The advocate is regional, not local, may not know the ins and outs of our specific district. DS' program is housed in another school and they are officially enrolled as students in that school--that might help, I'd think.
Motor planning and binder backpack manipulation.
So the three inch binder....we had the "great binder disaster of 2011". Where he kept dropping the damn thing (remember he has low tone) and all the contents would go all over the place...and the last straw was when he dropped it on the way home...in the rain and everything was ruined. (Remember it was three inches so it didn't fit in the backpack with everything else). ...I personally prefer the each class has a color folder with pockets and space in the center with the clips. Then you keep each folder I the backpack. You can keep an extra on with extra paper and a place for random flyers coming home to parent. But nope...the whole school had to use their system.
Okay, I know this isn't funny but it made me LOL. We had the opposite issue (kinda, but it amounts to the same). Students were supposed to have separate folder for each subject (no binder). When everything hit the fan late fall, I tried to organize DS and found he had something like FIVE math folders. Bc he kept not being able to find his, and so the teacher would give him a new one. Five math folders, each with copies of the same work, over and over and over...so I asked if he could use a Trapper Keeper. The Trapper Keeper annoyed the heck out of one teacher bc he bumped stuff on her desk with it. I think she was mad bc he was being allowed to use his "own system" but also bc she told him to take out the planner (to avoid bumping her things) and he said "I can't." He said "I can't" bc *I* had pretty much forbidden him to remove anything--I think he honestly didn't know what to do in the moment, but she perceived it as defiance.
Also made me laugh bc WE found a huge pile of (wet, rained on, ruined) schoolwork in neighbor's front yard, quite by accident. At that point, realized that DS' backpack had a large slit/hole in the bottom. He had been literally leaving a trail of papers behind him for heaven knows how long--neither of us noticed. That is *our* awful clumsy, binder, backpack, folder (of 2014) story. I'm sorry it makes me feel better to know it's not just us, but it does.
Your mention of low-tone makes me wonder about a few things. DS is a sturdy looking guy but fatigues easily and can't do things like rock-climbing, says he has no upper-body strength. Hmmmm.
You may also wish to get DS' input as to goals.
Thank you for so many specifics--I'm cut/pasting into word doc. The advocate also asked about DS' goals and input--that is the area that stumps me. He totally shuts down about conversations like this, first works himself up and accuses me of "yelling at him" (I nearly never yell, period) and has very little to say, and then asks me to leave him alone. I'm not sure what he'd say about what his goals/issues are other than parroting back to me what I've told him they are. I hope maybe neuropsych report can help there because I do. not. get. it.
So why am I telling you this? Because what I didn't know then was there is a certain magical combination of words that was needed to unlock the evaluation and services I was asking for and I hadn't used them. My statements and requests and explanations were crystal clear but I did not use the correct phraseology to unlock the magic door. If these people had used good common sense (or been committed to their obligations under child find) they would have done the right thing. However DD was a suburban kid in an interdistrict magnet located within an overburdened urban school district. They were not going to do a dang thing for her that wasn't absolutely and without question required of them.
4 years ago when I started on this journey DeeDee gave me some great advice. If you can consider hiring out the advocacy piece. This is a marathon not a sprint and it will take its toll on you - physically, mentally, emotionally. psychologically. This is your child and the emotional investment is enormous. If the advocate is an unpaid one and saying they won't "do the work" for you and feel you can't handle a battle yourself it may be worth a few hundred dollars to hire someone. You will still be the decision maker and will still be steering the ship but you may be able to find an experienced person to do the heavy lifting.
Hang in there, I always say it's not an even playing field. School districts have been through this hundreds or thousands of times. They have protocols, procedures, attorneys, professional training. For most parents this is a first time experience and there is a steep, steep, STEEP learning curve. Some districts, like the one where DD did kindergarten, use that to their advantage. Cut yourself some slack, take a deep breath and understand that you are in the learning process right now. You don't have to make all these decisions right now.
And remember that this community is here to help you figure it out.
HTH
Thank you, it really does help. I would hire that stuff out in a microsecond but I can't, limited resources. So we will have to do with "good enough." At least, I do have confidence I can learn this language--"plan for the worst and hope for the best" is not my native tongue.
