Welcome Elaine!
You are expressing and dealing with something that all of us (even those of us with younger kids) fear. For the most part, all of our kids feel like they are square pegs in a round peg world. Please let your son know that he is not alone. There are lot of teens out there who feel isolated and alone because they don't fit the mold that society hold up as average, run-of-the-mill normal. And if
he feels that he needs to hide his uniqueness from the world, maybe there are more kids around him than he thinks that similarly feel the need to hide themselves. Maybe no one is really average, and we are all hiding certain parts of ourselves in order to fit in.
The problem with society (and not with the gifted kids) is that it continually projects the message that different is inherently bad. Kids start to doubt themselves, their abilities, their very value and uniqueness, all because of an accumulation of negative feelings from outside of themselves. The more we believe in ourselves, the easier it is to shrug off those feelings of "uniqueness is bad". That is why it is important for him to find a group of supportive and/or like-minded people. The problem is where to go to find these people. (and I know... I'm going through the same issue of finding peers for my eight year old... God help me when he is 15!)
There are many web sites for gifted teens that talk about depression. Both Hoaggies and Seng (which I see was already mentioned) have information. Lots of books that I get from the library on gifted kids have chapters dealing with depression too.
Good luck to you. I hope you find something that helps both you and your son.
http://www.sengifted.org/articles_counseling/Webb_ExistentialDepressionInGiftedIndividuals.shtmlhttp://www.hoagiesgifted.org/adolescents.htm
