Anyway, do typical kids not understand death as permanent at 3?
My DS was 3.5 when our cat died. He has not tested as gifted, and in fact is somewhat delayed in social/emotional skills, and though he does not have a clear diagnosis. He clearly had no idea why everyone was sad or what was going on. When we buried her, and my DD (then 7) was bawling her eyes out, he skipped up, looked at her body, said, "Have a nice nap, kitty!" and skipped off. This definitely made it all the tougher on DD, who was distraught and didn't get over it for at least a year.
DS8 was horribly distraught when on of our cats died this fall. He said it reminded him if the mortality of everyone in our family and that realizing how many deaths of loved ones he will have to endure in his life made him not want to live anymore. He also cried when ds2, born with major special needs, needed surgery yet again and I had to take him to the specialist hospital in the big city. Before, it had always been a big adventure for him because he just loved the trains and tube and the science museum - this time he explained he had realized that not just cats can be beyond help and die, so can little brothers.
Again, I lied and told him that while it was emergent surgery, it was all routine and not risky at All and to stop worrying, we and the drs had everything under control, Not true at all, but I am still thinking that 8 year olds do not need to be able to handle all truths.
Dd4, probably gifted, but quite likely not the same LOG as DS8, did not understand the cats death at all (she cried a little being worried about the other cat taking a way all his toys since he wasn't moving any more, and was upset about the disintegration to dust-thing, but when I told her it might take many years, it was enough to comfort her) and while she has a hard time being separated from her little brother and me, she has no understanding whatsoever if what's behind it.
