I really like everything from Dude except the bit on having her change her own emotional response to situations. It's not a wise path to teach girls that their emotional instincts are wrong.
A clarification is in order, because this is a misunderstanding of my message. I did not intend to communicate any such idea, and it runs contrary to my later statements where I acknowledge that the girl will still likely be upset by the boys' behavior, and that educating the boys is also necessary.
The idea is simply to understand that the hurt they are causing her may not be intentional, and that understanding may help her cope with it better. Her emotions are still valid, but maybe understanding reduces the intensity of that emotional response, or helps her calm herself after her initial response.
Any parent who has heard, "I HATE YOU!" can relate... we may understand that this is a child, and there are many reasons why the kid might say it which have nothing to do with us, but it still stings to hear.
