After a completely failed advocacy meeting, DD7 said "Don't make me go back there." So we didn't. After four months of homeschooling through on online school she said "I'm so lonely - I want to learn in a classroom." So we found her one. After another two years we suggested looking at school alternatives and she agreed, and when we toured she school she now attends she said "I need to start here RIGHT NOW." We did make her wait until after the Christmas holidays (another 6 weeks) to give her time to think about it.
To be clear, there is an element of false choice here. We decided how to proceed with homeschool. We found the school placement she went to (there weren't a lot of public options we could leverage mid-year). We chose the schools to tour. We wouldn't have suggested a completely inappropriate option, based on our opinions. So her choices were directed by us at a higher level.
It never occurred to us that she wouldn't get some input. And while not every situation was perfect or stayed good, each choice was much better than the prior situation. She has a good track record. And even the imperfect parts were more tolerable to her because she had some ownership in the decision.
