Loy58, the reason you feel overwhelmed is because you care. If you didn't then you wouldn't be here. And caring is exhausting because we want to get everything right.....and we can't. We want what is best for our children but we don't want to put people out or upset the system. We don't want to appear pushy, or invite confrontation, so we are wary of asking for what is needed. We don't want to stand out to other parents so we find ourselves feeling alone and lonely. And it's really hard because where ever we are there are very few like us and the ones with similar issues may not be enough like us to become friends.

But here's the thing. You are so definitely not alone as all the people who have responded let you know, we sooooooo get it. We know those fears and sleepless nights. We know the embarrassment and anguish of not knowing what to say and being put on the back foot by seasoned professionals used to denying parents. MON explained all of that so clearly.

So, what to do next. First up......don't be so hard on yourself. You were caught on the hop....happened to me too. I wasn't fast enough to think of Polar Bear's suggestion to put off the discussion. I did follow it up with an email and a meeting. Strangely, that person is one who professes to understand and says she will do things and nothing happens. She obviously has her "putting parents off skills" down to a fine art.

Second.....focus. Small steps. Gather info. Identify objective, doesn't have to be main goal but a step on the way, make a plan.

I always feel better doing something than lying awake worrying or imagining what I should have done. Write down who your child is. What do you know about them. What do you see as their strengths. What do they need to be happy. Start with a little life story of how how you came to realise they were different. Put in things that have worked to help them and things that haven't. It's just for you to be very clear about what it is you are fighting for.

Now identify what things have to change, what things would be good to change, what doesn't have to change. Forms the basis of your plan.

Sit down with a hot cuppa, glass of wine or block of chocolate, on a bad day all three, hug your DC (s) and enjoy. Say we are ok because I care.