what they most wish their teacher would understand about them and/or what they like/dislike about being gifted.Okay, DD14 says (pardon the poor or jumbled transcription-- I type about 50% as fast as she TALKS):
what I
do like... I like the fact that being gifted is associated with lots of free time. While school is a priority, sure-- if you feel like putting in the time with a particular teacher/project, you'll get an A+, great, but most peoples' 80% effort is like a C or B, but if you're gifted, it's still an A, usually. More time to do what I want.
With the exception of some creative things, it means being able to just LOOK at stuff and be able to DO that. (She reflects that maybe this isn't as true as it used to be. Maybe it's a high LOG thing.)
At very high LOG, you can do pretty much anything. You can look at something, even in an area of marginal interest/ability (for you) and go 'Yeah. I got this.' So ALL of those doors are effectively open to you. Which is cool. But also a problem-- because-- choices.
It's nice to be able to CHOOSE anything whatsoever, though.
What I don't like-- about 70% of what comes out of my mouth, unfiltered, even with people who know how smart I am, go "WHAT?? You are SUCH a freak."
You become romantically (or just platonically) interested in others because they are wonderful people, but
they can't keep up with you, no matter how hard they try-- and it never works, because you make them feel bad about themselves, which is AWFUL. You're always faced with the choice of "Do I dumb myself down continuously? DO I attach Harrison Bergeron style mental weights to myself so that I can hang out with these people, or do I be myself with no friends at all?"
People dump me because I make them feel bad. SOmetimes, it's people that would be able to be friends, if they hadn't seen you in class. They know. And you're ALWAYS 'that kid' in class. Always.
Some teachers hate you. Because you're "that kid." Some of that depends on your personality, of course. Sitting in teh corner quietly, teacher's don't usually hate... but you get bored. If you're an authority-pleaser, you chit-chat with the teacher and get to know them personally (because what else are you going to do when you only need about 20% of the class time to haul in an A??), and they start treating you more like a friend than a student. That might not be the most professional thing, but-- they don't really have much to do for you/with you as a STUDENT... you're done with what they can teach you, and you're both just stuck with it. But the other kids notice. Brown-nosing, butt-kisser... except you're not, because you're just bored.
The OTHER choice if you're bored is that you can be disruptive. THe class clown, the cool kid. Verbally showing up the teacher is stuff that classmates LOVE... but... um... the teacher will HATE you. Some teachers will truly hate you.
It's a catch-22. If you're gifted, you have three choices-- learn to depend solely on yourself and be solitary, you can rely on the teacher (adults) for interpersonal contact but it doesn't make you friends for a birthday party or anything, or you can be the kid that EVERYONE else loves but that adults hate.
So there's no great way to navigate school (unless you're in a class of them) and survive socially if you are at a high LOG.
What do I wish that teachers knew?
While I may be CAPABLE of learning the material with your instruction in 25% of the time as everyone else, you still can't just HAND me the textbook and say "learn that."
That just doesn't work for me. Sorry.
I wish that I knew that they knew that at 11, I was 20 in terms of thinking about some things, but that at the same time, I could literally LOSE things that I was hanging onto because my executive functions are those of an 8yo at the same time.
I wish that they understood that this doesn't mean that I'm ADHD or in need of *medicating*.
I wish that they knew that they can't just WHIP the other kids to do what I do.
It just makes them-- and ME-- miserable when teachers do that. I hate being held up as a paragon like that.
I wish that elementary teachers knew that if they are lousy mentors when I'm with them as a little kid, they are ROBBING my secondary teachers of the respect that I probably would otherwise have had. If I learn not to respect my teachers, I transfer that lesson to other teachers.
If I'm sitting on my own reading a book, that's not an indicator that I need HELP for being socially inept. Nor is it an indicator (necessarily) that I am CHOOSING to be alone and prefer that. I wish that they knew that it means that I like to read. It might mean that I'm not getting what I need, or that I have no other good options.
I wish that teachers would listen to the parents of gifted kids-- my mom and dad usually knew what would help both me and the teacher, but too few teachers wanted to listen.
