I was thinking maybe you could also have a friend or family member question your DD independently as well. A lot of children may also be parent pleasers and say what you want to hear. With others they be more forthcoming about their feelings and actual experiences as they are not taking your feelings into account. Sometimes pretend or puppet play can do this too, even if you're there, a lot of children will talk to the puppet and say their true feelings.

Life is the hardest teacher. It gives the test first and then teaches the lesson.