Originally Posted by MsFriz
... To the extent that the people pleasing is an offshoot of perfectionism, I'd suggest reading up on the evils of perfectionism and doing what you can to nip it in the bud. The book Freeing Our Families from Perfectionism is one good place to start.
Two more books which seem to understand very well and which many find supportive are What To Do When Good Enough Isn't Good Enough and Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good. While insightful, these are written gently for kids, in a style that is fun and engaging. Some parents pre-read books before giving them to their children, others prefer to read/discuss together with their children.