I wonder if it's some combination of items on your list:
6) he's rebelling because his social needs are not being met
7) he just turned 7 and is some sort of development growth resulting in temporary odd behavior patterns (known to have occurred with previous growth spurts)
8) the honeymoon of homeschooling has worn off
9) I'm over-reacting after years of training to jump on odd behaviors NOW,NOW, NOW before secondary effects come into play
That is, (on point 9) that he's seeing that this is getting YOU to engage and interact intensively-- maybe you'd been retreating from such intense interaction?
Has moving changed his social life a lot?
It's also possible that he simply doesn't think that you SHOULD be telling him what to do. I'm familiar with the autonomous beast within my own dear child-- just thought I'd mention it because this is about the age at which she became SO ungovernable that we had only three choices: a) unschool completely (which my DH and I find incompatible with our parenting philosophy and think is a bad idea given her natural disposition), b) return her to some other kind of schooling, or
c) increase voltage. Okay, two options. {sigh} It was VERY bad, sometimes. More on that momentarily.
I should mention that your list of things, and your description about his obstinent refusal to do even appropriate work? Yeah-- WOW does that sound familiar-- we went through this every time DD jumped out of curriculum while we homeschooled-- she'd refuse, I'd beat my head against that wall for a week or two (or longer
) and then I'd think-- oh yeah? If you're so smart can you do THIS end-of-unit-assessment? And, um-- she could... start new curriculum all smiles for two to six weeks,
rinse, repeat. (Horror should be the clear reaction here, by the way-- I'm convinced this took years off of my life and DH's both).
We decided that she HAD to be educated by someone besides me holding the 'whip-hand' as it were. Enter virtual school. Ultimately, this forced her to work on areas of relative weakness, where she would MUCH MUCH have preferred
not to 'work' on things she didn't like (because they felt difficult).
That one didn't make your list-- but I think it's something to consider. If school is finally
appropriate, and especially if it's in areas of (relative) weakness, then push-back is something I might expect from a relatively strong-willed gifted child.
The more gifted and the more strong-willed, the more push-back.
My DD was Ghandi--
I could not break her. Seriously--
I tried. I tried persuasion, reasoning, reward charts, unpleasant alternative tasks, the naughty seat, giving her the silent treatment, I tried EVERYTHING I could think of that wasn't overtly abusive, and she just waited me out.
So either you'll have to get cooperation somehow, or you'll have to remove yourself as "the boss" for schoolwork, at least if that is the case.
