So when I ask ok now what I get the email "well I feel he is good where he is".
BTDT, a possible reply might be "Yes, thank you... HE does NOT feel good where he is at"... follow-up with
1) a question about what she specifically observes that causes her to believe he is working at his optimal challenge level,
2) a link to an article or two about the downward spiral of underachievement which kids may enter, when not working with sufficient academic challenge
I believe a good advocacy word here would be insular; it is not emotionally charged and it may be more precise, because ironically it can take a lot of work to be insular.
... all it would take is for this woman to give last week's "special kid class" assignment to DS,
Have you asked for this? Possibly if he is not in the class due to any constraint on the number of pupils, he could still have the assignment? This request could be point #3 above, in your response to the teacher. It shows that the motivator is the higher level work, not the perceived status of the class.
... admit she might be wrong!
The teacher might not be "wrong" so much as there may not be continuous enrollment; the 99% to qualify may have been at a specific point in time (beginning of year score). While this may seem arbitrary, this why parents may wish to
inquire about these things. Low-key and logical questions may guide the school's GT decision maker's thoughts along a new path and lead them to conclude for themselves that your son belongs in the program, that it is a good "fit".
I know her boss will just tow the subjective "well it's based on teacher observations too" line.
That may be, and some guiding questions to the teacher may get her thinking in a new way about what may be the best "fit" or your son.
Principal is a wonderful woman but probably has no say in GT district decisions.
This may vary from school to school, at some point it would be good to ask and learn how it works at your school: who is on the GT decision-making team?
I agree about the politics thing. If your a PTO member and know the superintendent on a first name basis, your kid is in...funny how that works. The quiet focused kid without parents with political pull is overlooked.
Sometimes this may be what it seems on the surface. Other times, we find that some had developed their advocacy skills and were able to create change while forging relationships.
Advocacy can be difficult. Like any challenge it can bring out the best in some people as they study the various strategies and learn to apply them with apparent ease. Read up on advocacy, and throughout the next decade you may be glad you did.
Now I have to explain to my DS you did awesome...highest score even..but no, your &@$$&@ teacher still won't let you do "fun math" with your BFF. Talk about spirit crushing.
By giving your son this interpretation you may indeed crush his spirit. If that is not your desired result you may wish to give him hope for qualifying at the next interval. One possible approach is to gather more information (timing/constraints,etc) to manage his expectations with facts as suggested previously. One possibility may be to let this go gracefully (for example: it appears the class is closed, only children with 99% at the beginning of the year are in the class, you have made tremendous progress and will continue to do so at home...) You might add that you understand his disappointment and have done everything you could to explore the possibility, it just didn't work out, this time. These interpretations do not pass along bad thoughts about the teacher.
