Welcome!
My DD8 is in third grade... I worked successfully with teachers in 1st and 2nd grade to keep her engaged and enjoying math... This mostly turned in to me sending in materials for her to work on in a folder that she was able to work on in lieu of whatever classwork they were doing. She has always had the option to check in and out of math class as she saw fit. Again that was more or less successful. I started a math club for her and 11 of her friends. That has been been an amazing success, both for her and her peers.
Now she is in third grade. I decided to try something different and let her try out a computer program where she could self-teach. From time to time I have explained a concept to her, but she has gone kind of crazy with it. She is allowed to do that instead of her school homework so instead of doing a worksheet that takes 3 minutes, she spends at least 30-60 minutes working on math. She's also allowed to do that in school, and often takes advantage of that. She also reads 1-2 hours a night, again, without my prodding. If anything I find myself telling her to stop reading and go to bed.
I absolutely don't feel like I push her, though I certainly give her plenty of positive reinforcement for all the work she does. I never really considered her 'gifted', more just a hard worker with an extraordinary level of internal motivation.
Key phrases here may be:
...self-teach... she has gone kind of crazy with it... allowed... I absolutely don't feel like I push her... plenty of positive reinforcement for all the work she does... extraordinary level of internal motivation. Many would agree this is positive parenting.
But recently, I have been getting feedback from teachers and staff that makes it clear they feel she is a classic hothouse kid and I am the ultimate tiger mom.
You may wish to explore their observations, and share your own as well. Many people, including many teachers, have not seen a gifted child... and/or an autodidact... and/or a supportive parent who clearly values education and is able to read and respond to signs of readiness in their child, by providing additional academic resources and social opportunities like the math club.
I wouldn't care so much except that it almost seems as though they are just waiting around for her to fail or at least return to the level of her peers.
You are in a unique position to gently educate these other teachers who are your peers and co-workers. To offset any pressure on your daughter, and possibly influence your peers, you may wish to acquaint them with the works of Carol Dweck regarding a growth mindset. This may help them maintain open-mindedness and soften their view (which unfortunately, currently sounds like a rabid readiness to pounce on any error DD may eventually make... framing it as an experience of abject failure).
If I hear 'it will all level out' one more time...
Aptitude and opportunity come together to help fuel a child's achievement. Causing self-doubt among those creating opportunity, may be a way in which our society/culture sabotages our gifted and high-achieving children.
Especially, keep that math club going if you can.
... FSIQ of 134 and a WAIT-II Math score of 160...
Qualifying scores on various tests can be submitted for evaluation for joining American Mensa. There is a fee for score evaluation, and an annual membership fee. (links-
http://www.us.mensa.org/join/testscores/qualifyingscores/, and
http://www.us.mensa.org/learn/gifted-youth/)
... My question is: do you think these scores reflect a hothoused kid that will come back to earth?
Being hothoused is NOT about scores, it is about the child's internal experience with the education they are receiving. Some have used the humorous expression "drinking from a fire hose" to refer to being inundated with information... some kids enjoy having the choice of lots of resources available for fast, intense learning. On the opposite side of the coin, some may compare hothousing with Foie Gras controversy (force-feeding), which we can imagine would be rather unpleasant for the duck or goose... or hot-housed child.
Do you think if I share the scores with the school, they will focus more on meeting her needs and less on waiting for her peers to catch up?
Having data is often helpful for advocacy. You may wish read advocacy books and articles, including the free downloadable guidebook on the Davidson Database:
http://www.davidsongifted.org/youngscholars/Article/Davidson_Young_Scholars___Guidebooks_375.aspx
