he also refuses to acknowledge DD hearing loss (a hole in R ear with partial hearing loss and an ear drum that burst Monday from a severe ear infection, probably causing more hearing loss) as an issue since she performs well with some assignments and not with others.
Agreed 100% - I don't subscribe to the 10K Gladwell thing myself - I am sure that it works on someone that already has natural talent but it the absence of that then I remain unconvinced. The old adage involving sow's ears and silk purses springs to mind as being apropos here.
What I really agree with about the Tough Love approach is the expectation that the bar IS within a child's ZPD and encouraging a child to aspire to reach and exceed that bar. Ranting and raving is not necessary but frank, open and direct communication is IMO.