Thanks for all the great ideas, and thoughts. I feel better already (maybe because it is the weekend)! I will write more specific details and what works when I get some more time. But I especially like gabalyn's comments.
And I just want to reiterate, that I am not trying to do too much structure with him 1-2 hours a day, with everything else free play/explore time (it's just that so much of that turned into electronics time). I love the idea's of more kind of unschooling, BUT, I worry that if I don't get some structure into his life, that it will never take. For instance - our day has NEVER EVER had a alarm clock on it - it has always been wake up when you are ready, take plenty of time at breakfast, drop everything and go for a hike, etc. That is already how we are living - so I sense that I need to introduce structure, or he will never learn these skills and end up like me (which is rather oblivious to time and free wheeling). Needless to say, my husband, thinks I need to at least introduce him to a more structured life! So while I love all these unschooling ideas, and I agree that kids learn by play, and man oh man, the stuff that he has learned already in that mode makes me only think that if we just keep free wheeling, he will only be so much more ahead.... But if I don't apply a little more structure, he is never going to learn it.
Honestly-- parental instinct isn't just the most important thing here-- IMO, it's the ONLY thing.
I had that same sense with my own little termagant. Who is-- to be clear-- NOT a morning person.
Her resistance to instruction and authority has
always been evident. "Oh, sure you can always tell {DD}. You just can't tell her much," as the saying goes around here.
She's still a nightmare for most teachers in a traditional setting. If I'd allowed an unschooling structure with her-- NO WAY could she go to college. And she needs to go to college, because her inclinations and interests (and dare I say-- her vocation) lie toward the hard sciences. That's not 'self-study' territory in a larger sense of wanting her to become independent and self-supporting as an adult.
Anyway. I think that if your gut is telling you that he needs an hour or two of externally imposed structure each day-- DO IT.
