I hear you - it's just that it's sometimes difficult when I am bumping up against societal norms. All the other invited girls went and they have all been in the same classes for years and attended each other's birthday parties, etc.
I know this is difficult - but I wonder if it would help to look at it from how the children are seeing it? I'm guessing (and it's just a guess) that it doesn't really register in a big way with the other kids, even though it might feel like a big thing to your dd. My dd has a friend who's mom will not send her dd to other children's houses for sleepovers due to dust and pet allergies, and she's also (the mom) very particular about worries about other parents. When there are birthday parties that have sleepovers etc she'll send her dd for the day-part of the party and then pick her up before bedtime. My dd and her friends really don't think anything of it - they understand she's not staying because her mom doesn't let her do sleepovers and that's the entire extent of all they ever think about it. They still love having her as a friend
polarbear
