Hmmm...
this is the child that you have
suspected is manipulating the adults around her, yes?
I might let her "overhear" a conversation between you and her other parent...
one which LAMENTS the fact that she still has so much to learn from Kindergarten readiness....{sigh} clearly, more time-- maybe even MUCH more time is going to be spent in this environment... until she can gain mastery over her responses in that environment. Because, of course, she still has so much.to.learn.from.it. If you like, add in your distress that your other specialists don't seem to understand how to help her... but emphasize again that until she can better "master" this setting, you're not going to be moving her to a "more challenging" environment any time soon. After all, if she can't manage this... it seems that she still has much to learn-- best to do it now before increasing the demands on her, certainly. The trick is HELPING her to do that. Right?Then see if she reins in the behavior on her own or not.
I'm guessing that if your hunch is right, it's at least partially voluntary/discretionary behavior. She's turning it on and off situationally. Freaky, isn't it? (Yeah-- my DD can do this, too. I have learned to just ignore her initial outbursts or she'll suck me in. I'm matter-of-fact with her, and a little cool, even... detached. Which strikes unwitting observers-- sometimes even DH-- as cruel. But anything else plays into the drama, I've learned. The key is for the behavior to have NEGATIVE-- actively NEGATIVE/counterproductive-- consequences.)
It's not really about manipulating HER-- it's about seeing what she does if you change your response to her.
All of the relevant specialists are telling us that we're making a terrible mistake
Why is it that they are saying this? Do they give a reason?
