hi Smidge!
i'm pretty new here, too, but have you ever come to the right place! everyone here is so wise and helpful.
like you, we've had problems with the dirty looks and the cold-shoulders right from Day One. well, Day Two, i suppose, when DD rolled over for the first time. most recently, i believe i've lost my best friend of 35 years when she simply couldn't understand the problems we've had this year - and flatly refused to believe that anything i might be saying could be true. i feel so very far away from her right now.
i guess that's the long way around, but i wanted to say i really feel for you.
Another thing, she looooves to talk to adults and they don't love to talk to her even if its about the planets or why we see shadows. No one likes a know it all i guess.. is what i tell myself when i see people scoff at her, instead of woah look what this 2yr old knows.
we did 2 things for this problem:
1) we got DD out on public transit all the time - i'm not sure if that will work in your area, but the innately low-stakes nature of interacting with strangers seemed to work well for everyone. DD loved talking to new people about whatever was on her mind at the time, and it seemed that if the adults literally never had to see her again, the conversations weren't constantly ruined by comparisons. over time, she did make a few "bus friends" - who were largely elderly folks who genuinely thought she was neat.
2) we took DD to the places where her interests would be served, and let her ask her questions to the adults in charge. science centres, museums, hospitals, the vet even showed her the OR and let her handle and "set up" a whole bunch of surgical equipment last year. we're planning a trip to a medical research facility for the fall - i don't *think* they usually do tours for 5 y/olds... but it's amazing what happens when you ask!
i've found that many adults are totally charmed by a kid who is fascinated by what they do - they'll often let you do things you'd never dream possible. we had a radiologist swipe some old x-rays and give them to her - they redacted the names with a sharpie together and had a great talk about medical confidentiality.
oh! and the other thing i did was cultivate some "younger" friends - kids (to me) in their mid-20s who were kind of adults, but not quite parental-figures. since they had no kids of their own... they could just enjoy DD and all her weirdness. eventually, she'd go on sleepovers with them and away for camping trips - they always had a blast and they truly loved how articulate and fun DD was. now that they're a bit older, we're not seeing as much of them, but it was a terrific bridge during that awkward 1-4 yr period.
so welcome to the board - it's really, really good here. i can't wait to hear more about your little bean!
