So, how do I teach him to put up with her? Especially when I am having trouble putting up with her! I don't want to harden him up for the world, but I don't want him to run away from an insufferable, incompetent, unsympathetic teacher...
It's one thing for an adult to "put up" with a situation like this, but it can be terribly difficult for a child to have to deal with. Our ds had a teacher conflict in 2nd grade that resulted in him developing anxiety so severe that he was very close to being considered clinically depressed, and was having severe panic attacks that were affecting him at home as well as at school. No amount of "teaching" would have worked to make him able to "put up" with the issue he had with the teacher in the classroom - and she was in fact a good, enthusiastic, involved teacher - she was simply not a good fit for my ds that year. We eventually "got it" that the classroom situation was the root of his anxiety, and we switched him to a different teacher and his world changed completely - anxiety gone, panic attacks gone. It doesn't sound like your ds is in that severe of a situation, but I wanted you to know that by listening to our ds and switching him out of the classroom we weren't teaching him to run away from a problem at all - instead we were giving him something that he really needed. There will be plenty of opportunities as you go along through life to help your ds learn not to run away from a difficult situation, but right now I would worry more about the potential anxiety this teacher and classroom may be causing him.
Best wishes,
polarbear
