Hi Amy,
Sorry to hear it. BTDT. Our DS could not cope with the afterschool care; it was terribly stressful for him. As far as I'm concerned, the "lord of the flies" approach (many kids, a few teachers, little structure) is perhaps okay for some kids, but not for mine.
We have done very well with hiring young adult caregivers for after school. We advertise in the relevant departments of local colleges (education, psychology, even nursing...) and have them trained by our therapy team, so they know what skills we are working on and how to handle our more difficult moments. We do background check them, etc. as well, in part so other parents would feel comfortable having their kids come over for play dates.
We have had some absolutely wonderful people come into our lives this way. It's been a win.
HTH,
DeeDee
