I'll offer up my thoughts - although I am not sure from reading your post if your ds is still in 2nd grade and moved up to 3rd grade reading and math this spring (and this is the 3rd grade teacher you are talking about), or if your ds was in 2nd grade last year with the 3rd grade reading and math placement, and this full school year he's in 3rd grade full-time with the 3rd grade teacher you're mentioning being his full-time classroom teacher - I think it's the first - he's with the 3rd grade teacher part time since March of this year for math and reading only. My thoughts on the situation differ depending on which the situation is.
Soooo.... if it's the first situation - still in 2nd grade but has been going to math/reading with the 3rd grade teacher since March, I honestly would chalk this up to a not-so-great teacher. I'm not sure that she would necessarily need to be differentiating for him further than the curriculum she is teaching the other 3rd graders in her classroom - is it all material he already knows? If it is, I'm not sure I understand why you didn't ask for a different placement or further differentiation back in March when he started in the classroom.
My last thoughts apply no matter which grade your ds is in - you are so sooo so very close to the end of the school year. 8 more days. I wouldn't pull him out. If the last 8 days at your school are anything like the last 8 days of school here, there are a lot of special activities, end-of-year things like field day etc, teachers are wrapping things up, and out of the entire year it's usually the most fun time of school for most kids. Unless your ds has had a sudden onset of extreme anxiety or stress due to the situation with the 3rd grade teacher, I'd leave him at school and let him finish out the year with his classmates.
I also think you need to really think through how this impression may look to your colleagues, and your principal in particular. It sounds like you have a great reputation at your school, and you're moving into a position that I'm guessing you'll be great at
I would just be wary that while pulling him out makes sense to you, your principal or your co-workers might potentially see it in a different light. It's clear you want to see change for gifted students at your school, and you're going to be in a good position to do so next year - so I wouldn't want to leave an impression with any of your co-workers that you'll want to have on your "team" next year thinking you are quick to react impulsively or give the impression that you are judgmental of other teachers.
It sounds like you've possibly been frustrated for quite awhile, but you've become much more frustrated after the things the 2nd grade teacher told you. In some ways, I feel the things the 2nd teacher told you were slightly unprofessional. Please know I don't mean that to be harsh, but - if you didn't work at this school and it was a colleague talking about a teacher you knew to a parent and telling her the things in the way she did - would you feel it's an ok thing to do? I am not explaining myself well, and I'm sorry I can't explain it more articulately at the moment! I just wonder if she would have said these same things to a parent who wasn't a co-worker? I can totally see how they would upset you, but I would try to stay focused on what would you have done given your existing frustrations with the situation if you hadn't had that conversation with her?
Anyway, I am hoping your ds wil be placed in a classroom with a great teacher and challenging curriculum next year!
Best wishes,
polarbear
ps - I also want to second master of none's excellent suggestions re how to approach talking about this with the school staff.
