I've read through many messages here and LD seems to fit in with a lot of the kids here although not all. One major difference is that he's not motivated to learn outside of what the other kids are doing unless it's disquised as a computer game. If a teacher gives him an option to do more work IF he wants he'll politely say no thanks and the teacher doesn't push it.
Wow - You really hit a button with me - off I go:
My son is definitly gifted, and he takes the same approach to your son in the area of "extra schoolwork." I think that this can be understood in a few ways:
1) What is in it for him? This September our son was finally able to verbalize why he wasn't making use of the provided "in-class enrichment."
Me: Honey, You said you are bored in Math and afraid that the kids in your old school will get ahead of you, but when I asked the teacher she said that you never do the special Challenge Math Stations that she puts around the edge of the room for kids who finish early.
Son: Mom, that stuff she puts out is baby stuff. I won't do it!
((Turns out, when I brought this to the attention of the school, then took him out of 5th Grade, and but him in their Middle School for 6th Grade for everything except Math, which is their advanced 7th Grade Pre-Algebra. Math isn't his favorite subject or key strength, but he loves not being bored! The school said that he tested strongly enough on their Algebra Readiness test to go directly into Algebra, but they wanted him to have a chance to be with a particularly nice group of Math-loving 7th graders.))
2) Stamina - for my son, and yes, we got the same talk from the school that he belonged in special ed. when he was in 2nd grade, just dealing with the bordom and tring to live up to the schools behavioral expections was enough to wipe him out. He didn't have enought energy left to "score well on his behavior chart" and want to learn afterschool. Interestingly, he was willing, in exchange for more computer time, to sit and learn at his readiness level with me and seemed energized by it, but that was very occasional.
3)Awareness of peers. We want our children to have enough awareness to try and be like their peers. That's normal and good. But if we leave our children in peer-groups that are not "like" them in important ways, then we are teaching them to deny that part of themselves. Strangly enough, a child may assume that their is something wrong with them if they do not react to the classroom environment the way the other children do - even if this difference is something adults value, such as strong intellect. That was my personal experience.
I hope this helps,
Trinity
