As for harm, we have gone back and forth about this over the year, but, ultimately, we do feel that she *is* being harmed. She's a child prone to anxiety and depressive thoughts, which we have worked hard to nip in the bud. But I think most telling is seeing her become a different child during school breaks, and the fact that she walks out of school *every day* looking like someone just killed her puppy. I ask her what's up, and she says "Same stuff. Every day. Same stuff." She says her teacher thinks she's stupid, has cried repeatedly that she wants to be homeschooled, etc. We thought for awhile it was getting better, but it has flared up in full force again. Her confidence is nil.
As for early identification, we were told by the AG coordinator at our school that she absolutely, positively, never, ever, ever identifies before end of third grade unless we are looking for a full grade skip. She says she has met DD and she believes that DD will absolutely, positively NOT qualify (she met with her on the first day of Kindergarten during recess. She has not spoken to her since; she agrees this is the case, but says she got a good read on DD that first day). We cannot nominate unless we bring outside testing proving that she is above 98th percentile, and we may do that only if we are pursuing a full grade skip. At mid-year of K, when we asked about it, we did not want to skip her. My partner still does not want to skip her, as she believes that homeschool is the best course of action. Since the bulk of that would fall on me, and I have several reasons why I don't think next year is a good year to start homeschool, I'm reluctant to jump to that choice.
We have sent in books for her to read, after asking the teacher if that would be okay. The first day we sent one, they had library. The teacher handed her a library book, grade level 1.9 (written in the back of the book) and explained to her that this would be a better book, because children like this sort of book very much, and said she should read it instead of the chapter book that she was loving at home. There are other things this teacher has done to let me know that she is quite deliberately squelching DD's reading in particular, despite the fact that she readily admits that DD can read and understand anything put in front of her...she says it is important for children to read closer to grade level for content reasons, and that DD must learn to retell without including such things as symbolism, because that is incorrect.
Bit of a ramble there, but, basically, yes, there clearly is harm being done, and I feel like the AG coordinator is not going to work with us in the least unless we have outside testing and want a grade skip. Maybe she needs one. I don't know. But I'm reluctant to send her to test with someone who doesn't think she's capable, as I'm worried DD will pick up on that and perform where she's "supposed" to perform. She loves to fit in, and works hard, because she hates being different. Yet refers to her classmates as "the human children", so she's clearly conflicted.
I'm thinking about a principal meeting, and bypassing the AG coordinator altogether, but I don't know what I'd say. I'm also tempted to see if we can work a transfer to a different school, but I think I'm too late on that one unless we have a super compelling reason (like moved to a different town).
