Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Really upsetting meeting with principal

I would be inclined to consider bringing up all topics you deem appropriate at the IEP meeting, including the para/scribe's noncompliance with the IEP accommodations, and if he refuses to discuss the situation at the IEP meeting, then sending a letter documenting his refusal to discuss this aspect of the IEP with the advocate present.

I'm inclined to start written documentation when schools start intimidating or harassing behavior.

I went through a great deal with a public preschool regarding my daughter's life-threatening food allergies. The starting point was meeting with me and my 4 year-old and saying in front of her that her teacher, school nurse, and administrator met and concluded it was "better for them if she didn't attend" because of her life-threatening food allergies. They also refused to hold a meeting to determine her eligibility for a 504 Plan, despite a formal written request.

Written documentation via letters is an option. We did make some headway. She was allowed to attend the public preschool program they already had invited her to attend. She did get a fabulous 504 Plan, thanks to again, careful written documentation and substantiation of deficits that jeopardized her.

The administrators did threaten me at the 504 meeting that nothing was to be in writing or I found myself miserable for the rest of our time at that district. (No, I didn't stop written documentation of serious issues, such as my daughter not being allowed to attend school, the school refusing to hold a meeting to address eligibility for a 504 Plan, my daughter being given several foods containing her allergens at a party after conversations w/3 different personnel addressing the upcoming party and the plan to ensure my DD's safety. I found a gracious way to gently document their request nothing be in writing.)

With life-threatening food allergies, my daughter's life was literally at stake. Whatever protection I secured that year -- receiving a 504 or not, the specific accommodations listed in a 504 plan -- likely would be the level of protection she would have until high school.

The school district so flagrantly disregarded 40 years of disability law and reacted so shockingly that I felt I had no choice except to resort to written documentation. It was in some senses successful. At the same time, it was extremely stressful. I ended up deciding to homeschool, so that my time and energy could be spent on my children and their education instead of trying to persuade someone else to ensure my daughter's life would be protected.

These situations are so tricky. I would love to have achieved the same results through nice, diplomatic conversations. I tend to get concerned that if school districts make a very intimidating and inappropriate move (such as the way you were told the issue related to your son's IEP would not be discussed), then I think you need to consider that if it goes unchecked you have opened the door to them continuing and increasingly using such tactics with you. I think written documentation can be a successful "check" on such behavior.

I hope this helps! Good luck!