The reason I was suggesting reading about Terrance Tao's education is that his parents seemed to find an incredibly flexible path through what was an extremely "anti-elitist" schooling culture (he was educated in my city a few years before me, I can vouch for how many times my parents or I were told, in horrified tones, that I couldn't possibly do x,y,z because that would be elitist, bad and wrong). It's been a few years since I read the article, but I remember being struck that the success seemed to come down partly to the skills and manner of the parents and partly to finding the right primary school principle - who helped set in place a process that just kept going once it had started. I could be way off base there in my description.
And I think we all struggle with feeling we are more concerned with our 5yr old having a normal happy childhood than their blazing an academic trailpath... But she is who she is and that is not sounding ( from what you have said here) like a child who is going to achieve a normal and happy childhood plonked in a standard K classroom - though you could luck out.
