hello everyone!
my DD5 attends an independent school, specifically chosen because they have no academic ceiling. unfortunately, DD is experiencing social withdrawal from the kids in her class, even though the teachers perceive her as massively popular. she unfortunately doesn't feel outgoing connections to kids her age (her good friends from dance are all 7 and 8 - she was accelerated a few times there.)
she's so unhappy at school and has associated her stomach aches with her anxiety about fitting in and has started refusing to go. she complains that all the other kids get "baby work" and that it's not fair her work is harder (apparently even with her fooling the teachers?!) when quizzed on it, she articulates that of course she pretends she can't - "it's better to be dumb at school." she is dumbing herself down to fit in with kids she doesn't even relate to - and then is irritated by them when she's so successful that they follow her around like puppies. quite a paradox!
she is doing math and reading at Gr. 3-4, and i know this is just the tip of the iceberg - since you can only test based on what she's been exposed to. this weekend she independently drew a number line with negative numbers on it and showed me how she could calculate a jump or drop in temperature using it. (ahhh, Canada!) we're constantly running into situations where she just has an insight and wants to develop it - it's really, really fun. we have never pushed academics with her (duh - just turned 5) but she's got a boatload of interests that will not be denied.
we recently met with the teachers, and it turns out she's hiding her ability so well that she had them completely fooled, except for her insane vocabulary, which probably should have been a tip-off? but throughout the meeting, they kept saying the words, "doing just fine," and "perfectly average."
last week, i met with the VP to find out what options/support might be available... and was bluntly advised to get a copy of The Hurried Child (which i did. always happy for any/all insight, i read the book extremely thoughtfully, but it's really, really not our situation.) it's actually ironic, since the book even says that it doesn't apply to gifted kids, who absolutely need to be challenged.
i am due to have a second meeting with the VP later this week - how do i handle the fact they strongly believe we are simply pushing her beyond her limits?
i don't want to just go in and throw down test scores because my real concern isn't the academics, but the apathy and the disconnection, which they should be able to accomodate. i thought i might bring in some sketches of her inventions and the negative integer number line to use as examples of her engagement at home. would that be too confrontational?
i really thought she would expand in this environment, but she seems weirdly diminished, you know? any help/ideas/approaches are welcome - i really want to avoid coming off like the parent they seem to think i am!
thanks!
