HK I get what youre saying but i think many people will see no upside to asd or adhd. I don't know that my DD experiences any upside to her asd, we've tried to sell it to her as such but I think it's pretty much a sales pitxh at this point in time. She doesn't have the obvious strengths that some kids, particularly gifted kids, on the spectrum have, she just has a whole cluster of deficits, conversely SES not as severely disabled as many on the spectrum are... My Youngests child's dietary restrictions have no upside and cause a lot of stress and impact everything we do, but they have way less negative impact on our lives than my eldests problems do. Although she's not at risk of dying, she is at risk of extreme illness lasting up to a month and comin complete with severe developmental regression, a diet mistake is a VERY big deal to us, even though its not life threatening we do live in fear of every possible mistake or incident. And it's just not even close to being in the same league as my eldests aspergers.
