He is very social, but has a hard time starting conversations with other kids and "fitting in." They are older of course. He refuses to do activities that involve those skills like "theater" and gym class. He has friends but no close friends at school.
He also has had a bout of meltdowns at school (not at home) and wee his pants a bunch of times during the same time frame (again not at home.)
When asked to do work he takes his good old time and is not very assertive.(again not at home.)
Yeti, I'm not so sure I'd worry about your ds having friends but no close friends at school - one of my kids had super-close buddies at that age, the other two didn't, and now later on in their lives they are all doing well socially and have close friends; I think some of what you're seeing could simply be age as well as perhaps not a good match among school buddies. I also wouldn't worry too much about him taking his time to do his work... it's not like he's making a paycheck and has a deadline looming, and he's got quite a few years before college applications, so he's going to be ok
Have you asked the teacher specifically what is happening or what has been going on before the meltdowns at school? Are there any common triggers?
I think the one piece of advice I'd have is to not assume the meltdowns are caused simply because of gifted behaviors (boredom or asynchronicity etc). There may be something going on at school unrelated to his academic abilities that is really bothering him - could be anything from an activity he's challenged with or doesn't like to do a classmate that is bullying him to a teacher who is unkind. I'd even look at things like does it happen after snack, what is he eating etc. Look for anything that seems to be common between the episodes. Also don't assume that simply because it's a G&T kindergarten that the teachers really understand G&T kids.
Best wishes,
polarbear
