We've been trying to figure this out since DD9 was about 2 and still don't have an answer. If you haven't already, you should check out James Webb's 'Misdiagnosis' book, but a number of the people we've spoken to don't acknowledge what it discusses (notably, absolutely everyone we've spoken to in our state). What that book says makes sense to me, but what difference does it make if nobody else will respond when you ask about it??? Honestly, assuming it's a close question and the kid can operate okay in some settings with some people, I think the answer to your question is in the mind of each beholder. But if you get an unsympathetic or impatient teacher, you will find they want to apply a label so the issues aren't 'their fault,' or at least that's been our experience. Probably more specific information would be helpful if you want more relevant advice.
